My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
