i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
