He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
