you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize