And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
