before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
