i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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