Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
