This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
