Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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