He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
