I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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