i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
