the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
