i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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