Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
