With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
