4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
