took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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