Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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