Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just want nice things and good sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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