I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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