Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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