I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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