he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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