I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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