I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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