I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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