I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
