It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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