are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize