Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
