Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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