you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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