Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
