she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize