oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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