My pussy is not your playground.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
