she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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