smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
