did you get engaged???
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
