So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize