How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
