I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
