so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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