sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize