he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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