No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's the barista slut.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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