We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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