I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
