Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
