I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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