She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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