We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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