Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
