Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
