I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
