why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
