like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
